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SearchingChris
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Country: United States
State: Massachusetts
Birthday: 6/12/1969
Gender: Female
Interests: Working out, cribbage (is there any other game?), and surfing the web.
Occupation: Computer related
Industry: Computers (Software)
Message: message me
Member Since:
10/20/2001
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| Three Bottles in the Sea
It's time for another update to our feature story. At this time, there are 3, yes THREE, bottles making their way through surf and sand to a beach near you! 
To refresh your memory, Candi, the light-headed, sent out my original message along with two copies. Julie found one of the copies. So my original bottle and one of Candi's copies are still out to sea.
I just found out today that a third bottle joined them. Shea, having fallen in love with my idea, decided to send out her own bottle with her own message.
I think it is interesting that, out of the 5 women who met, there are 3 of us who are single. For each single woman, there's a bottle floating out at sea. I wonder if they will ever be found, now that it has turned cold. If not this winter, maybe this spring! Whenever I hear from someone who finds a bottle, I'll post the details here.
ChynaGirl asked what my message said. I didn't make a copy of it, but this is what I remember.
"I am sitting on a rocky beach in Cape Cod, Massachusetts, U.S.A. I am writing this note to be sent out to sea as a symbol of the opening of my Heart. I have protected myself for two years following a messy heartbreak. After giving my heart time to heal, I am ready to open up again for one who is willing to share in vulnerability.
If you don’t think I am utterly crazy, please send e-mail to softtechgal@yahoo.com. Even if you aren’t interested in meeting me, I would love to know on what distant shore my bottle docked."
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| So, have you been waiting on the edge of your seat? Ok, here's the scoop. Truth IS stranger than fiction!
I met 4 women at Johnny Rocket's this evening -- Shea, Candi, Julie, and Lisa. The first to find my bottle was Shea. She's an artist who lives along the northern coast of Massachusetts. She left early so I didn't get to ask why she threw my bottle back, but I think it is probably close to your guess, Banshee.
The next person to find my bottle was Candi. Let's just say, she's a few bricks shy of a full load. She thought my letter was a chain letter. (And you thought my description of her was mean!) She saw two names on the letter and thought that meant she should make two copies of the letter. (I couldn't DREAM of making up something like this!) She sent out the original letter in its bottle. Then she sent out two duplicates in two other bottles.
Wait! You think the story can't get any better than this. Have I got news for you!
Julie, and her partner Lisa, found one of the copies on a beach up in Maine. They were celebrating their anniversary and Julie was convinced that the bottle was a romantic gesture by her partner Lisa. Julie is the one who organized our getting together this evening, and the only reason she did so is because she assumed the three women named in the letter must be friends of Lisa's. I was the first to get to the restaurant and meet Julie and Lisa, and at first Julie didn't believe me that I didn't know Lisa.
Do I have my own soap opera going here, or what!? And I am quite the unhappy camper about all of this. I send out ONE bottle, I admit as a symbol of a change in my life. But I had a small bit of hope that it would actually reach a man. Instead of reaching one man, it has docked 3 times, and everytime it was found by a woman...and one woman was a lesbian!!
If my bottle was a message to the universe, what exactly is the universe trying to tell me!?
I spoke with Shea again this evening after I got home and told her about the "chain letter." She had missed this tasty bit of news. She thinks I should hold out hope a bit more since my original bottle hasn't been found yet. But, looking at my track record, I don't know that there is much hope to hold out.
I guess I'll just have to let it go. The right man will show up when he and I are truly ready to meet. | | |
| You are not going to believe it! I am hardly believing it myself. Someone found my bottle!
If you are new to my site, I'll bring you up to speed. On Nov. 3rd, I wrote a message, but it in a bottle, and tossed it into the sea. At the time I was on a beach at the Cape. I did it as a symbol of a change in my life. I really didn't think the bottle would ever be found, especially since it is no longer summer and the beaches are less populated.
In my message, I left my Yahoo e-mail address, figuring that was the safest thing to share with a stranger. (By the way, if any of you ever want to send e-mail or chat with me on Yahoo messenger, I am SoftTechGal.) I received e-mail today from another Yahooian who found my bottle! How amazing is that?
Now, the story gets even more interesting. The e-mail message suggests that 'all of us' meet at a local restaurant. Who is 'all of us?' It sounds as if more than one person has found my bottle. How does that happen? Did people add their own messages to my bottle and toss the bottle out to sea? How strange!
Well, I guess it will be a mystery until I meet up with these people. Take your guesses. I'm interested in all theories. I'll untangle it all when we meet and let you know what happened. My bottle must have had one very interesting journey! | | |
| While "Keeping the Love You Find" has some tedious exercises, I am happy to say I have made some exciting discoveries.
The author makes a case that we all are unconsciously attracted to those who have traits similar to things that caused us problems in childhood and we are attracted to this because it is familiar and also because the relationship can provide healing. While I wasn't convinced at the start, I sure was after I did the exercises. Here's part of one of the exercises in which I was convinced. It's a summary of previous exercises and it's when the light really dawned on me.
Exercise -- My Unconscious Relationship
I tend to be drawn to a person who is unavailable, avoids strong attachments, unable to communicate on a personal, non-intellectual level, and grows distant as I grow closer.
When I am in a relationship with such a person, I'm always trying to do something more to get them to go deeper, to engage. I think I need to do or be something more. So I knock myself out trying to be/do everything. I find myself revealing more of myself, being completely honest, holding nothing back as part of trying to get the same in return. In the end I feel empty and worthless.
In the relationship, in addition to wishing this person could dive into the deep end with me, I wish he continued to pursue interesting talents and topics for discussion, continued to be financially and physically strong, continued to be smart and funny so that I could have a relationship on equal footing. I like being respected for my intelligence, but I want someone who can banter back with me rather than accept everything I say to be the absolute truth.
When these desires are not met, I think that I have to play dumb in order for the relationship to continue. I think that men do not find intelligent women sexy. I feel I need to play the "dumb blonde" act to get their attention and their interest in taking the relationship to a deeper level.
So I react by biting off their heads any time they say anything about my intelligence or react in any way to the beauty of another woman. I become Queen Bitch of the Universe and they have no clue.
By reacting this way, I fulfill by own prophecy. I affectively push men away rather than draw them closer, and I end up alone and empty -- my greatest fear.
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| While I was at the Cape yesterday, the mail carrier delivered my book!! I can't believe it! I ordered it on Wednesday from a seller on Half.com. I can tell by the postmark that she put it in the mail the same day I ordered it. That's service! I just left huge Kudos for her on half.com.
I've spent a good portion of the day reading the book -- Keeping the Love You Find. It really has me thinking. With its help, I am sure I can make the next relationship last.
In the second chapter there's a Self-Knowledge Inventory. It has an OVERWHELMING number of questions -- 108 to be exact. I thought I would answer a few this evening and see how far I get. Some may not apply (I'm hoping!). I'm supposed to just respond with the first thing that comes to mind. Doesn't sound like it needs to be anything length. So, here goes.
1. My goal in life is: to contribute something beneficial to the world. I don't know what that is yet. I'm sure it is not writing software manuals.
2. The thing that gives me the most satisfaction is: teaching. I love to show my co-workers how to use the tips and tricks in a piece of software to make their jobs easier.
3. My childhood was: unsatisfactory. I am the oldest of three. I have two brothers who never looked up at me as their big sister, even though I had acheived many accomplishments -- straight A student, science fair winner, etc. They always struggled on their own rather than ask their sister, a girl, for help. I knew it would have been different had I been their brother. We would have bonded and would have helped each other through.
4. I think sex is: delicious! (That was easy!)
5. When I make love, I prefer: (I think I'll keep this answer private.)
6. My deepest fear is: that I will die a lonely spinster never finding an available man who is my educational equivalent.
7. My deepest need is: to be loved and respected for who I am, not what I can produce.
8. My most frequent feeling is: loneliness.
9. The thing I hate most is: illogical airy-fairy people who never face reality.
10. I worry most about: Well, these days, I worry about our planet, our nation, and our futures.
11. My goals for a primary relationship are: love, companionship, and willingness to learn from each other.
12. My reasons for wanting a primary relationship are: to have someone to share my days with, someone who understands me to my very core, someone to love and to receive love from in return.
13. I think my relationships have been: Well, in college they were empty. They were more like two people hanging out together -- friendships. My relationship with Raymond was deceptive and dishonest (on his part).
14. Three things about myself I want to change are: eliminate the whineyness I have been noticing in my voice and my attitude lately, restore my self-confidence to the level (or better) I had before I met Raymond, and reduce my harsh judgements of others.
15. I fantasize about spending evenings in the arms of a lover.
16. I feel anger when people try to hurt me or others with their words or actions.
17. I think I am: (Hmm....this is curious. I'm not quite sure what the author is looking for here.) I am a strong, smart woman who has briefly lost her way and is attempting to find her way back to the main road.
That's the first page of four pages of questions. I think that's enough for tonight. I'll get back to the other questions tomorrow. If you have made it this far, I congratulate you! | | |
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